Posts Tagged ‘Evil Ninja Penguins’

So… Guess whose been getting some work done lately

Guess whose rewrote an old short story

Guess who has gotten a fair chunk done of his novel in the past fortnight and thus far shows barely any signs of slowing

And guess who has just gotten bored with this whole ‘guess’ theme and is giving it up right now…

That’s right – Me.

Yours truly.

Here’s a little wordcount doovey to display my progress thus far –

10 percent bitches! Suck on that!

but that’s not all, Over the weekend I rewrote one of my short stories – This one. And have plans to keep doing that to the other ones I feel need some work. Which is probably most of them.

I’m quite pleased with myself. It seems I’m getting out of this slump and getting things done. More than that, I’ve been having fun doing it too. That’s something that you forget all too often, isn’t it?, always too busy trying to get everything perfect and it just slips your mind that it’s fun.

There have been other things too. Some secret, some I’m just not remembering right now, and some I just can’t be bothered talking about right now because I want to finish this post and go get a coffee.

Coffee it up with me muthafukkas!!

Hey, what doin?

So, things have been picking up around casa del Boland… At least on this side of the house. Been reading some great books, doing some good (and some bad) writing, and been getting some other things done that I’ve been putting off for far too long.

First up – Been reading some great stuff. I think I mentioned it earlier but got a couple of things off Amazon, I loved Gun, with Occasional Music and followed that up with another brilliant book – The Cardboard Universe. Both Awesome books in very different ways. Put them at the Very Top of your TBR list. You’ll thank me.

I’m currently waiting on some more Jonathan Lethem books (Since I liked gun, with Occasional Music so much I thought I’d check out some more) but in the mean time I picked up a copy of Treasure Island that I bought at the Local book store recently.

I have to say – I am lovin’ the shit out of Treasure Island. I thought it’d be good, but it’s about a billion times better than that. Really, I’m kind of surprised about how much I’m getting into it.

Now that you’ve all updated your To Be Read lists…

I’ve also been getting some writing done. I swear. Check out my Evil Ninja Penguins page…

See?

Yeah. I’ve been getting some Novel work done. Mostly terrible stuff. Unusable slosh. But it is more progress than I’ve made in months.

Also been getting some short short stories done. In fact I just finished Gorlock the Insurance Consultant today.

Hmmm… I think that’s about all I’ve got for you today. I did do some other things but that’s for another time.

Let’s see if i can’t finish this up with a picture.

Holy Balls. I can’t believe I almost forgot the most important news of all…

I GOT A BERTIE BEETLE BAG!

(If you don’t know what this is – shame on you! then click Here)

SCORE!

“Where do you get your ideas?”

This is a question that many writers are asked… Apparently.

And I hear them sigh at the “Stupid question” and attempt to explain that ideas aren’t like shoes. There isn’t a particular store that the writer goes to and picks up a new pair of ideas because they liked the strap, or their old pair of ideas got worn out from running away from crazed fans like in a Beatles music video.

But here is the real truth.

Each and every one of them do, in fact, have a secret place where they get their ideas. They just don’t want to tell you about it because you are very untrustworthy and might pilfer their ideas.

But you wouldn’t do that would you?

No.

So I’m going to tell you my big secret. Just between you and me. Where do I get my ideas? I’ll tell you.

In my backyard, underneath an old tree is a two hundred year old brick lined water well. Unbeknownst to all but me, this is no ordinary two hundred year old well centred in a fifteen year old suburb. It is a portal to a magical world full of magical creatures such as penguins who practice various forms of martial arts, bunnies who are all named Sebastian but are never confused as to who you’re talking to and horses who change colour on impact… to name just a few.

As you exit the portal you’ll find yourself in a vast forest, look around for a large yellow rock shaped like Keanu Reeves. Just next to that you’ll see a large tree with a knot in it. If you ask the tree which direction you should walk in then… Well, the squirrels will all laugh at you. Trees don’t talk. Stupid.

The squirrels, on the other hand, will be very helpful in directing you where to go. However, they won’t listen to you at all if you don’t talk in rhyme. Here is one that I have memorised -

The squirrels will take you through the forest to a clearing where stands a house built out of old Philip K Dick books. Open up the Ubik door and step inside. They serve a lovely brunch for only $4.95, and also – they serve their breakfast menu all day. That’s right, It’s a magical world. (P.s. Try the Palmer Eldritch. It’s to die for!)

After you have finished your meal and have exited in style through the bathroom window, head down the hill to the lake where the penguins swim and do tai chi. Hire a canoe from the old man with a corn cob pipe and head out across the lake. Just a note: Keep an eye out for sea monsters.

Once on the other side of the lake you’ll find yourself in a meadow of beautiful daffodils. Head to the northern most part of the meadow where it begins to raise toward the snow capped mountains. There you will find a two hundred year old brick lined water well underneath an old tree. Now, this is no ordinary two hundred year old well centred in a magical world full of creatures such as penguins who practice martial arts, bunnies who are all named Sebastian and horses who change colour on impact…

It is, in fact, a magical well. A magical well that holds every idea imaginable.

And that is where my ideas come from.

As mentioned in my previous post, I’m working on getting my shit together. I’ve been letting time pass without making any effort at all for far too long, so it’s time to put in some effort. To quote Randall Graves ‘It’s time to shit or get off the pot.’

One way of doing this was to create a site for flash fiction type dealys. Yesterday I did that. Which was good in two ways because it was simultaneously moving forward and also procrastinating. But the site is up now, mostly. And it’s ready for updates. There isn’t anything there yet but It’s called Evil Ninja Penguins. Click through and have a look-see.

I was thinking of making a daily thing but I don’t know if I can manage that, I’m going to try doing a bi-weekly or even a three day a week thing. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays kinda thing.

And – as promised – Number one of the Daily photos deal. It’s from while I was working on the site. It looks a little different now but that was what it looked like in its first hours… -

ETA: I also started a new short story last night. Got 500 words before I even realised it.